Shameless

Everyone now knows that Paris Hilton is famous just for being famous (thank you VH1 and E!, now stop telling us). And while many are happy to just lay on the insults and criticism, justifiably so in most cases, I thought I'd learn from her.

So I flipped to one of the afore mentioned channels, I don't remember which, it doesn't matter, and there she was. 5 minutes, three extra strength Tylenol, and a couple of drinks later, what I was watching was still causing me pain more than anything else, so I turned off the TV and decided to try a different approach. I decided to do the exact opposite of what Ms. Hilton stands for. Another 3 minutes of thinking later I had figured it out, not to mention I felt better and the memory of Paris melted away. It's like thought is her kyptonite.

What I figured out was that a fame is simple and fickle. To be a star all you need to do is grab someone's attention, do that to enough people and you can then come out with your own clothing line, fragance, and restaurant.

Considering this nature of the internet, I think I can follow in suit. Bots scrounge through the bits and bytes that constitute today's intraweb searching for keywords and phrases. I once wrote an article for The Daily Cardinal which used the word iPod, it ended up receiving the most hits of any story. Another I wrote referenced Boost Mobile; a week later I received an email from that company's offices in California letting me know they liked the article. So either I was a great columnist drawing in huge numbers and having a nationwide readership, so those bots do a hell of a good job.

For the sake of publicity, fame, and at least one person reading this sooner rather than later, I'm going to exploit some trolling bots and keyword search programs. The following is a list combining what is reportedly the most searched for words as well as others I felt would garner the interest of others.

Enjoy.

Homeland security, Vioxx, Jessica Simpson, Wikipedia, Paris Hilton, America's Got Talent, hot young co-eds, myspace, youtube, Star Jones, Mel Gibson, 2pac, young co-eds, Pamela Anderson, William Shatner, MTV, whiter teeth, Pokemon, Naruto, NFL football, Linsay Lohan, iPod, Playstation 3, increase your size, Harry Potter, The Sims, Trish Stratus, NASCAR, Beyonce, Snoop Dogg, podcast, Stephen Colbert, free pron, FAFSA, Google, Angelina Jolie, Dave Chappelle, weed, make money from home, lonely singles, Lost, penny stocks, Donald Trump, miracle diet, free money, monkeys, Jessica Alba, Snakes on a Plane